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HEAVY
BURDEN FOR ELDERLY CAREGIVER (POSTED: May 2004) "Life can take a twist for the worse," laments Grandma Margaret. At 76, she has been left with 27 orphans all from her sons who, with their wives, have died of AIDS. Margaret Acholla Obado narrates how death took her children one after the other. The once big homestead with many houses and hard working men has now been turned into a home of death; haunted by fourteen graves acting as a constant reminder to the painful deaths of already departed dear ones. The children are left to none other than the helpless 76 year old grandmother. Grandma Margaret remembers how she got worried after she lost three of her sons. She went on a crusade to educate and counsel the others with the notion that AIDS was the devourer of her dear ones. Little did she know that HIV had already invaded her prosperous home and was ready to reduce her to shambles and utter poverty. She then shifted her attention to her grandchildren. She was only too aware that many would run to the streets or even join bad company in the slums. Every evening, she would gather all the 27 together and give them wise counsel. They would pray together before Margaret saw to it that all went to bed. Having gotten used to her sons and their wives bringing in food for the whole family, Grandma Margaret found out the bitter way that food was no longer coming their way. She had to wise up to a way of feeding her grandchildren. She asked one of her remaining sons to lend her $5 as start up funds for a food business in a nearby market. Margaret was hoping to sell porridge and a local meal of maize and beans. This dream did not materialize for her son died before he could give her the $5 for the business. Life became miserable. "I would cry to God day and night," Grandma recalls. The children started going hungry and some dropped out of school. "I was terribly scared," says Grandma. She started thinking of how to relieve this big burden off her shoulders. Her 6th born son was in bed and terminally ill. She knew the end had come but vowed to fight on. She approached some relatives and close friends to take up some of the children and convinced them to take up 16 children while she remained with 11 of them. There were many challenges and surprises for Grandma, two boy dropped out of school and one ran off into the streets. Three of the older girls got pregnant at the same time while a hitherto supportive neighbor ceased assisting. Taking advantage of the absence of adults in the homestead, Grandma woke up to a rude shock one morning when she found all the doors broken into by thieves and property worth thousands of shillings stolen. "Life can be bitter," she laments as she speaks of this ordeal. By the time Grandma Margaret was spotted by a TEMAK social worker, she was distressed, confused and shattered. TEMAK embarked on rebuilding her life and that of the children, first and foremost, by getting the children back to school. TEMAK bought them uniforms, books and shoes. TEMAK further helped in starting a small business for her at the local market selling what she had aspired to: maize, beans and porridge to the residents of the slums. She feeds 11 orphans from this business. Three of the older girls were admitted at TEMAK for vocational training and received help in starting small scale business which they run in the evenings and that supplement family income. TEMAK did an extension on their house in order to give adequate room for the many children to sleep in comfortably, rather than having them all in one room. Grandma says it's the Hand of God that brought TEMAK to her rescue. Even though life is not as it was before, they manage to have a meal daily with the hope of the children and girls getting some education. Her only worry is: what will happen if she passes away? Who will take care of the children? Age is catching up with her and with every passing day, she feels weaker and weaker since she has to work very hard at the kiosk to provide for her grandchildren. "I pray for long life and strength, but if I die, let TEMAK raise and care for these little ones." This was one of her requests during a visit to her home. She said it in sadness, tears rolling down her cheeks. See pictures of other caregivers in Margaret's neighborhood. Mrs Aloo: a woman in dire straits. |
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TEENAGE MOTHERS
& GIRLS ASSOCIATION OF KENYA
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